From Chewing Shoes to Leading Change: Growth Starts with a Mistake and a Little Bit of Mourning

More Leadership Lessons from My Dog

When my dog Tango was a pup, he never chewed a slipper. He went straight for the good stuff.

My favorite designer high heeled leather pumps. Gone.

I came home, found them in shredded pieces on the rug, and honestly, I cried. Not loud sobs, just that silent, disbelieving heartbreak only shoe people understand. They weren’t just shoes. They were an investment. Expensive shoes I wore to big meetings. Shoes I loved. The perfect neutral bronze color. I was embarrassed by my own reaction.

But I also knew the truth. I left them on the floor. So it wasn’t entirely his fault.

After the tears, I moved the good shoes. Up high. Out of reach. Lesson learned.

Tango was a puppy. Curious, energetic, untrained. He didn’t hate me. He wasn’t acting out. He was just… being a dog in a new place, trying to make sense of a world filled with tempting leather and low shelves.

What He Did Wrong Was… Normal

Tango didn’t know shoes were sacred. He didn’t know the difference between an old, worn out pair of tennis shoes and the pair I splurged on at Barney’s on a business trip to New York.

He just knew they were there. And chewable. So yummy! This wasn’t really defiance. Mostly it was inexperience. And that was a wake-up call for me, not just as a dog owner, but as a leader.

Because sometimes, your team will “chew the shoes.” They’ll make mistakes. Rookie errors. Misreads. They’ll break things you value, not out of malice, but out of learning.

And how you respond? That’s leadership.

The Leadership Reflex: Blame or Build?

It would’ve been easy to scold Tango after the fact. To assign blame. To repeat “you should’ve known better,” even when he couldn’t possibly have.

But years of experience with dogs had taught me you can only correct a dog when the behavior is happening, so that there is a clear association. Holding up a shoe he’d chewed up hours ago and repremanding him would not make any sense. It would only confuse him. The smarter move, the long-term move, was to adjust the system, not just punish an action that had happened in the past.

So I moved the shoes. I cleared the floor. I did some supervised shoe training (“Leave it!” plus treat) And I remembered: dogs aren’t born knowing the rules. Neither are people.

It’s a powerful leadership moment when you realize your job isn’t just to correct people. Instead, it is to create an environment that helps people succeed. Even if that means moving the metaphorical shoes.

Turns out, I had to train myself. To set up the playing field, provide clear instruction and to learn to give feedback at the right time in the right way.

Growth Starts With the First Disaster

There’s a temptation to idealize leadership as clean, calm, and composed. But most leadership begins in chaos. There are messes. Mistakes. Miscommunications.

Something important gets chewed, and you have to decide. Are you going to lose your mind? Or are you going to learn, adjust, and grow?

Those first mistakes are where the real relationship is built. With dogs, with people, with yourself.

What I Learned (After the Shoes)

I learned that prevention is quieter than correction. That clear expectations matter more than assumed ones. That building trust means allowing space for failure, without panic, shame, or theatrics.

And I learned to laugh about the shoes. Eventually. Not right away. Not while staring at the heel of a shoe that I spent way more on than I should have (Note to self: financial prioritization and attachment are two different columns and leadership lessons). But later, when the lesson landed.

I also learned to keep my good shoes on the shelf in the closet. (That one stuck immediately.) End the end, I had been well trained.

Labradoodle Leadership Takeaway

Every leader has their “chewed shoes” moment, where something they care about gets wrecked by someone still learning. The mistake is inevitable. The lesson is optional.

Even if you are the best leader in the world, you can’t prevent all problems. But you can decide what you do next. Real leadership means knowing when to say, “That hurt,” look inward on what’s really important and what you can change…and still choosing to build the bond anyway.

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Leadership Reflection: What is a time you had a team member who made a rookie mistake and what did you learn from it?

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